Tuesday, October 27, 2015

New Turrets on Palatine Cruisers Make Life Easier for Crews

THIS WEEK on Pew-Pew Weekly:

Is that comet flying through space giving you problems?  Is collision imminent?  Everyone knows that striking a piece of rock at relativistic speeds can give your spaceship crew the shakes (and don't get me started on those exploding consoles).  Well, worry no more.  Here is the solution to rowdy interstellar fragments and debris (and any foolhardy pirate looking to avoid having to face that boring legal system):  The PY-280-Z heavy cannon turret!

A spectacle of destructive potential!

With a full 180 degree rotation on the z-axis and 90 degree cannon rotation, this reciprocating octo-barrel laser cannon turret provides the ultimate answer to the question: Do laser cannons really work well against rocks in space...or anything else, for that matter?  At these levels of power, the answer is an unequivocal YES!

Warning: It is inadvisable to take selfies in front of these turrets

Capable of being loaded with several types of charges, these cannons can fire both ionized plasma and particle beams capable of delivering over 25 petajoules of destructive power per barrel.  That's right, that's 200 petajoules per turret, per shot

To give you an idea of how much that would be in pure awesome might: 200 petajoules equals the same amount of energy as 47,801 tons of TNT.  To give you humans a chance to understand, your laughable nuclear Tsar Bomba, the largest nuclear bomb ever tested in your history, released 210 petajoules.  That's right, just one volley from one of these turrets releases the equivalent amount of energy from your largest nuclear bomb ever! HA! Take that, puny earthlings!

Do ya feel lucky, punk?
These new turrets will be installed on all ships in the Thrassi Navy large enough to support them.  Since that's only the Palatine and Aventine classes, those are the ships that will receive these beauties!

Here is a mock-up of a typical Palatine class cruiser with the turrets mounted.  Seriously, you don't want to mess with this ship.

It was as if millions of pirates suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced...

If there was ever a bad place to find yourself, this probably qualifies

Sal Marcus, the Scan Officer aboard the Adamant had this to say about the new turrets loaded onto his ship, "I'm just glad they're not pointed at me!"  That seems to be the general consensus of anyone who has to face these things.

I'm just glad they're not pointed at me! -- A very wise man

Here are the statistics for these lovely turrets for you tech-heads out there:

Kilim & Blastem PY-280-Z Heavy Laser Cannon Turret

  • Type: Dual quad barrel reciprocating cannon turret
  • Power Rating: 25 petajoules per barrel
  • Rate of Fire: 10 shots per minute
  • Deliverable Energy Rating: 2,000 petajoules per minute

Remember, if you're a space rock heading for an Aventine or Palatine class starship of the Thrassi Navy, it might behoove you to avoid it.  If you're a pirate, get your will in order!


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